A Letter To The Mama of a Child with Food Allergies
Dear Mama of a Child with Food Allergies,
I see you.
I see you sitting in the allergist’s office comforting your child as they undergo yet another round of skin tests.
I see the look of panic on your face as you are reading that EpiPen box for the first time. You silently hope and pray that you won’t ever have to actually use it.
I see the worry on your face and the anxiety in your heart every time you leave your toddler in the care of another. I see you as you drop your toddler off in the church nursery and pray they don’t accidentally pick up another child’s sippy cup filled with milk.
You triple check your child’s backpack every time you leave the house to be sure that it is stocked with allergen-free snacks, hand wipes, Benadryl, and EpiPen.
I know you are mentally exhausted from all of the meticulous food prep, extra hand washing, and late night Googling. You’ve had a long day and you just want to be able to cook a quick & easy dinner for your family. But for those of us with a child with multiple food allergies, there is no such thing as a simple family dinner.
You wonder if your child will ever outgrow their allergies. Or just be able to order off of a regular restaurant menu one day.
I see you secretly worrying that your child might get left out of class parties and birthday celebrations. Or worse, have to sit at a separate lunch table all alone every day.
I see you on the playground when you overhear a group of moms talking about the “inconvenience” of not being able to pack their child’s favorite pb&j sandwich in their lunch because “A little girl named London in their class has a peanut allergy”. You feel hurt and sad that others view your child’s potentially fatal condition as an inconvenience to those without food allergies.
You have sat in the backseat of the car comforting your wheezing toddler while watching their every breath as your husband races to the ER. This isn’t your first emergency room visit, and you know it won’t be the last either.
Mama, I’ve been there. Each and every time. This journey is hard. Many of our own friends and family have no idea of the struggles we often face on a regular basis. And sometimes it’s the littlest things in life that are the hardest for a mama’s heart to handle.
But, for all of the anxiety and fear that comes along with food allergies, you have also come to realize there is a lot of joy in the journey, too.
Like the time when you give your toddler their first (allergy-friendly) cookie and then see the huge smile on their face as they taste chocolate for the first time. In that moment, you realize they are just like every other toddler their age enjoying the simple pleasures of childhood.
It’s the simple things, isn’t it?
I see you standing in the aisle of the grocery store practically jumping for joy when you finally find chocolate chip cookies free of the top 8 allergens (that don’t cost $10). Or when your local grocery store finally carries your child’s favorite brand of coconut milk yogurt.
You breath a sigh of relief in the drive thru at Chick-fil-A because you know it’s a place where your child can enjoy a quick meal on the go. Dining out with food allergies presents many challenges, so you are incredibly thankful to find a restaurant your child can safely eat at.
You know the joy of seeing your baby try a new food and not react to it. Another food that your child CAN eat.
I see your eyes well up with happy tears when your child’s teacher goes out of her way to find allergy-friendly sweet treats for the class Halloween party. You know she didn’t have to do that, but you are so grateful to find people that care for and love on your baby when they are away from you.
Mama, I see you. Through all of the good, the bad, and the ugly. As each day passes, you will start to feel more confident about navigating life with a child with food allergies. You’ll find allergy-friendly kid snacks and amazing recipes that the whole family will enjoy. And you’ll discover so many amazing resources that are committed to helping you and your child live the best life possible.
If you meet a fellow food allergy mama, give her a hug and make a connection. I promise you that there are other mamas out there that have been in your shoes and would love to offer support to you.
We are in this together. You’ve got this, mama.
Love,
A fellow food allergy mama
{My daughter, London (almost 2), has multiple food allergies to dairy, soy, & peanuts. She was diagnosed with her milk & soy allergies as a newborn. To read more about our journey with food allergies, click here}
19 Comments
The How-to Guru
I never understood until it happened to us. Taught me that you really don’t know what others are going through and we should all just be KIND! 🙂 It’s a scary thing for sure and this post is wonderful. Thank you!
The How-to Guru
Harmony,Momma To Go
Wow those of us without food allergies sometimes forget how intense it must be. Beautiful letter thank you for sharing!
Bonnie marrow
This has really inspired me to work on some quick and easy allergy friendly meals…thank you for sharing…stay strong ❤
Justine Y @ Little Dove
I loved this post because it really paints a picture of what it is that you go through. I must admit that we’re very fortunate and (of as yet) we have no food allergies in our house. Both of my children’s classrooms (schools, actually) are nut free but it has never really bothered me, there’s plenty of food I can pack them that doesn’t contain nuts. I did forget once though and pack my son a peanut butter sandwich (it was his first week at his new school) and I felt so terribly about it for days! Are other food allergies as dangerous as nuts when it comes to just being in contact with them and not actually ingesting them?
Jessamyn
Yes. In fact, a number of other things can be just as dangerous to a kid with a food allergy. My child has a severe sesame allergy. He also has an allergy to nuts. Often, people hear “nut” and focus on screening food for that and disregard the sesame diagnosis. But his allergy to sesame is consistently a life-threatening reaction. He became violently ill and unconscious from just one bite of hummus, which has sesame oil.
Cheryll
My son is the same with sesame. Thankfully he had already been diagnosed with a peanut allergy so we had an epipen when he reacted to hummus. I find the sesame allergy more terrifying.
Brit Strawbridge
This is so sweet! My little guy doesn’t have an allergy, but I have a fatal peanut allergy…this just made my heart so big for my momma <3 Thanks for sharing!
Ashley | Spit Up and Sit Ups
My son has a milk allergy. It’s hard, man. Everything we do requires a thought process just to make sure we’re not putting ourselves in a situation that would affect him. I made a giant batch of dairy free cookies for my son to bring with us during our Christmas trip so he wouldn’t miss out on dessert. Sure, this may not seem like a big deal to most people. I spent three late nights making the perfect allergy friendly cookie for him.
We had an incident on Christmas Eve where a friend’s mother gave my son a little bite of her cheesecake. We were new to the allergy world and never thought that someone would just give him dairy. Thankfully we had the Benadryl and we had to lead every conversation since with “We have snacks for him, don’t feed him anything until we give approval.”
Thank you for this letter. <3
Joanna
Aww what a sweet letter. None of my babies have food allergies, thankfully. I could only imagine how scary it is.
Tiffany | shortsweetmom
Thank you for this. My daughter has an egg and gluten intolerance. I never understood the struggle of food allergies until my daughter. I appreciate you sharing on this topic. Many people do not understand why just a little gluten isn’t ok. They do not see my daughter hours later crying in pain because her tummy hurts so bad. It is nice to know there are other mamas out there that understand. ❤
Breyona Sharpnack
I was one of those parents who used to get mad about sending in bland snacks or non-food snacks because of one or two kids who had food allergies. I felt like it was so unfair to the other kids and that their parents should be the ones making special accommodations…UNTIL we found out my daughter has a fish and seafood allergy and requires a Epi-pen JR. I felt horrible and truly changed my way of thinking. we all don’t care as much about certain things until it directly impacts us. I know I annoy my friends when I question what is on the birthday party menus and such but I do this to protect my child. I also ask so I can plan ahead and grab her some snacks or feed her beforehand to avoid any issues. Thank you for writing this post.
Rachel Farscht
Thank you for posting this. We food allergy “mamas” need to support one another through this scary and anxiety ridden experience. It’s so important for non food allergy “mamas” to be reminded to have empathy for us and our children!
little luxury list
Hugs to you mama! I’m glad you shared this on Insta and I really need to get out to blogs more.
i never thought I’d have a kid with food allergies, but my little one does indeed have mild ones. We deal with it and I’ve discovered and made a few new recipes for her, but it’s tough. It’s a bit tougher, but we carry on and she is still a happy little one so that makes us happy too.
Meg
Thank you for sharing. My kids don’t have allergies, but your words are a good reminder to be kind and thoughtful to those who do. It’s not just about “inconvenience” as some people consider it to be, as YOU explain it’s about an actual child’s life–their health, their safety, and their ability to live as normal a life as possible.
Brandi Michel
My own daughter had a brief allergic reaction once and was prescribed an Epi-pen. This was definitely scary and she’s fine now. I can only imagine how tough it is to have a child with an allergy and needing to be on constant alert. Be strong Mom! Great Post!
Lisa Benavidez
What a great post! It’s so common these days! So far my kids don’t have allergies, but I see it at their school dance studio, and among friends. I love how supportive your article is!
Ashley @ simmerandsprout
I love that I found your blog. I to am a parent and wife of food allergy victims. We’ve made the transition to Paleo for the whole family; one of the reasons being it just makes life easier. But I’m the mom sending dairy free ice cream to the sundae party, and the mom having to make homemade pizza for the birthday parties. It draining at times. I also am learning more and more as I blog myself, I’m not alone. Thanks!
Jilll
My daughter is dairy and soya intolerant and at a time we thought allergic to eggs. I breastfed her for 11months. My saviour was a Facebook Group for Dairy Free Breastfeeding.Without the help and knowledge these women possessed I think I would have gone crazy. I still read every label out of habit. My daughter is finally at 2 1/2 growing out of her intolerance. My heart goes out to those families affected by severe allergies. I’m hoping my son (10 weeks ) doesn’t have an allergy but it’s gotten easier to be top8 free over the last few years.
Cheryll
Thank you for writing this. I’m constantly worried and this made me know I’m not alone. I truly didn’t understand the fear food allergies bring until my son was diagnosed with allergies and had his first full blown reaction.
Thank you!