When Your Child is Late to Potty Train
It seems that the magical potty training age for many is two. The day your adorable little toddler turns two, people begin to ask the dreaded question – “Is he potty trained yet?”. Or even better, “How’s potty training going?”, as if they assume that you must have already started the potty training process. As your sweet little toddler turns into a preschooler and begins to approach the age of three, people don’t ask those potty training questions anymore. Instead, they just assume that your soon-to-be three year old is in fact already potty trained.
Noah was first introduced to his little potty at the age of 21 months, and when he peed on the potty (by complete accident) just a few days later, I thought to myself “YES; this is going to be SO easy!”. Boy was I wrong. It wasn’t until 20 or so months later that I could finally claim my potty training badge of honor. After what seemed like the ten thousandth try, Noah was finally (mostly) potty trained at 3 years + 5 months.
Most would say that is fairly “late” to reach this milestone. Just look at pretty much any preschool program out there. Most schools expect that children entering a three-year-old preschool program are to be potty trained. Or, at the very least, well on their way to being potty trained. But when your child is approaching his 3rd birthday and is scheduled to begin a three-year-old preschool program with no potty training success in sight, it can be hard on a mama. You begin to feel a ton of pressure. Pressure from preschool. Pressure from friends and family. Pressure from yourself. In fact, we had so much pressure placed on us, that we actually had to switch preschools because of it. In the end, the switch of schools actually became a blessing in disguise for us. We found a wonderful school that was willing to work with us, and 3 months after enrolling him, he mastered the potty!
This isn’t a “how to” post on potty training your stubborn 3 year old, because frankly, I don’t have any magical tips for you. Our (eventual) success just boiled down to the right timing and a little a lot of perseverance on our part. I am here to tell you that if you’re going through the same thing, that it is okay.
We, as moms, have heard it a million times. Don’t compare. Don’t compare your child to little Suzy down the street who was potty trained at 18 months. Or the story you read online about the 6 month old baby who is already doing elimination communication. Easier said than done, right? When you’re in the thick of it though, it’s hard not to get stuck in the comparison game. Trust me, I get it. But, your child will potty train in his/her own time. Chances are, by the time your child reaches kindergarten, no one is even going to be talking about this milestone anymore. Just like they no longer talk about when your child first rolled over, sat up, crawled, or started walking. Those milestones are in the past and most children will all eventually catch up to one another.
Looking back on our potty training struggles, one of the biggest takeaways I learned was not to push it. Noah decided when it was his time to master this milestone, not me. Of course, I had to continually teach and encourage him along the way, but ultimately it was up to him to determine the correct time.
Do/did you have a child that was late to potty train? Do you have any tips you’d like to share with other moms who might be going through a similar struggle? Please feel free to share your experience below. I’d love to hear from you!
xo,
Sumer
13 Comments
Amanda
Thank you Sumer!!!! I have not had to go through potty training yet, but the comparison of milestones is one of the most annoying things as a mom! Every child is so different. They all have different motivations too. I think social media has made it so easy to compare with everyone. Loved your post!
Sumer
Totally agree, Amanda!! Motherhood is hard enough without the comparison of milestones. Even my own two children are SO incredibly different from one another. Thanks so much for your sweet words 🙂
Samantha
I wish more Mommas took a laid back approach to potty training. When it’s time, it’s time. If a toddler isn’t ready, wait! Save yourself the accidents and headaches of trying too early. Great post!
Sumer
Thank you, Samantha! And I 100% agree on the laid back approach. Every child will get there in his/her own time.
Julie
My grown children were quite different. One just decided on her third birthday she was a big girl and Voila, she was done. That easy. The other not so much. The change happened as soon as I put her real panties inside a pull-up. Feeling the wet was something she couldn’t stand. Took a couple weeks after that. Good piece of writing.
gracie
Great advice. Totally going to forward this to some of my friends!!
Justina
I’m currently in the process of potty training my 21/2 year old and it can be frustrating. I think what is working for her is seeing other children her age go. The daycare she attends is very good with assisting with this.
Sumer
Yes! Seeing other children go at school/daycare can be very beneficial for potty training! Best of luck!
Justine Y @ Little Dove
Totally! My son was 3 1/2 and we struggled for about a year, it was the most frustrating thing ever. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I just figured he wasn’t ready, but I knew he was capable of going on the potty because he would stop whatever he was doing, go into out MASTER BEDROOM (ugh!!), pull down his pants and underwear, and go on the floor in there! Finally though, when he decided he was ready it was like he flipped a switch and was the best little potty trained kid out there.
Sumer
Yes! It is incredibly frustrating. Especially when you know they are capable of it, but just being stubborn about it. We went through that with my son as well. When they are really ready, it is like a light switch goes off!
Christina Shoemaker
100% agree! My son was around 3 when he got it. I had tried at 2 and he just wasn’t ready! It was a whole other ballgame when he wanted to learn too! Great post, Sumer!
Sumer
Right! It’s ALL about timing with potty training! Thanks so much for reading, Christina!
Jacki
They are definitely strong minded little people! We were able to successfully potty train our daughter at 2.5 but it was pretty rough!